Ode to a frog

Dear French tenant,

In light of recent events...

... I am hereby giving you notice that your rent will double. Effective immediately.

What’s that? You can’t afford to pay that much? Boo-fucking-hoo. In that case, I am hereby giving you notice of your eviction. Effective immediately.

Don’t bother coming home from work; I’ve changed the locks. Also, I’ve packed up all your belongings and had them shipped c/o “Those dirty, rotten, cheating, lying scumbags”. I trust the postman will know where to send them.

I considered marking it “Handle with care”, but I guess that goes without saying.

Adieu!

P.S. On your way back home, could you pass on this letter:

“Dear France,

We are no longer on speaking terms.

You know why.

Ireland.”